I think you will spend 656 seconds reading this post
Yes, you read it right. This post is about looking into two different concepts in different contexts. One is about doing what makes you feel good and the other is about feeling good.
So, for the last few days, in a consistent manner have been getting people connect with me and guiding me, or sharing the message with me to “do what makes me feel good”. And yes, a wonderful message, right? Of course, it is. Some messages are direct. However, a lot more like this one, are keys to important messages.
And with that message received and acknowledged, I got myself from my laptop and got into the duty mode to take my dog for a walk. The routine walk where I also get to relax, reflect and many times, talk with myself (and sometimes with my clients) to reflect, to recharge, to discuss and renew perspectives for further growth.
Some background info.
Hi, I am Dr. Maharaja SivaSubramanian N. Blogger, Coach, Consultant, Speaker, Trainer. And also a human being who has had experiences and exposure of my own share of success by working various frameworks (both created by others and designed by me)
And yes, here’s a disclaimer too. This is part of my own experience, education and all the perspectives coming from there. And very much subjective to changes which otherwise I would label as evolution as I evolve. So, take it for that, another perspective and another way of looking at life. If you feel it can be empowering and you are ready to take responsibility for the consequences, then give it a try. And again, absolutely not a substitute for professional help.
Who do I talk with?
Like I shared, there are times when I am able to, I talk with my clients. However, there are times when I am with myself as my dog does what he needs to do. (Or from his perspective, he get me to do what I need to do, LOL). And call it as another person within me, maybe my heart, “the thinking man” part of me, my soul, or god, or a guiding angel, or the collective consciousness, or my higher self, or just some self-talk. (Hey, I never wrote so many persona variations of self-talk and reflection). It’s definitely a meditative space.
Why so many problems, rejections, and setbacks? Where is the joy?
Yes, two set of questions, I have asked myself a lot and also to others looking for an answer. And many often times have asked the God too. (I do believe there is someone or some higher power which we can call as god or at least fight with for all our miseries). Today, I got one answer. Read on to find it.
Feeling good is experiential. However, which experience?
Yes, feeling good is an experience in itself and also a by-product of some experience. Let me explain. I can feel good just like that and experience it or can recall an experience which makes me feel good or choose to do something to experience feeling good. Yes, that’s 3 vivid experiences.
Now, here is the fourth one.
How about creating an experience to feel good? Yes, I can pick up something from the past, (irrespective of good or bad). If it’s good, I can maximize it and make it better and great to feel good that way. Or if it’s a bad experience, then obviously I can reframe it and create a different story with me triumphing and feel good.
What’s the trick here? The subconscious mind often cannot tell the difference between real and imagined experiences.
And how about creating from feeling good?
A lot of times, we see feeling good as a result. I am doing this to feel good, I am helping others because their reciprocation will make me feel good. I am studying hard for I will feel good if I get good marks. And, I am putting myself out there so that I can feel good. And many more scenarios like this. Do things to make yourself feel good. Yes, do the work to enjoy the fruits of feeling good. Success is the result of hard work, right?
That’s what we have been taught, a lot. And has it really worked all the time? Pleasing others hoping to be appreciated has often ended a lot more people end up as a doormat and unappreciated. Hard work, hoping for reward some other day in the distant future, has left people feeling like losers while others just won the game for no reason.
Hold on. I am not being pessimistic. Neither am I saying you should not look at making others happy or not look forward to appreciation or not to engage in hard work. Where I am getting on is a lot more from a different position. Let me paraphrase one of my mentors here.
Yes, as my mentor, Mr. Alex Mandossian says, if you want to enjoy the right fruits, then, plant the seeds which will produce those fruits.
Yeah. That’s where I am coming from.
How about feeling good within. Just feel good. Experience that feeling from all of your being. (And if it involves a quick work which is completely under your control and a healthy choice) do it and feel good.
A healthy choice to feel good?
Yes, a lot of people laze around because it makes them feel good. I used to. And have come across a lot more.
Procrastination makes you feel good for you don’t have to face the demon of fear of failure. And rather you focus on small things that rarely matter than the important things where you may fail. I used to. And have come across a lot more.
Indecisiveness makes you feel good a lot more times. You can label it as going with the flow. But then that is what it is. Going with the flow rather than creating the flow. And yes, you have the power to put the blame on someone else if things go wrong or just say how you could have done it better if you had the right support (still not owning up and blaming on lack of something, like knowledge, support, resources, etc). I used to. And have come across a lot more.
Junk food makes a lot of people feel good. Emotional hunger. I used to. And have come across a lot more.
Staying within the comfort zone makes you feel really good. And also at times wonder why results don’t seem to be there. (But wait is not, doing what you kept on doing and expecting different results an example of self-imposed insanity?). I used to. And have come across a lot more.
So, what is it? How about asking yourself what will you do if you felt limitless, powerful and so really good with yourself?
Almost all the times, you end up what can be called as your quintessence or the way I refer to it in my workshops and talks, as your ‘cute innocence’. What will you do then? Want to know the answer? I am not your guru to give you the answer. However, I can give you some clues which will help you to come up with your answer. And hey, definitely I can share what I end up doing.
So, here is what I end up doing.
And what you may too.
I re-look at my life and my own potential at a totally different level.
I feel already successful and grateful for all that I have achieved and all the gifts I have got.
My flaws don’t interest me much as much as what I can create and share from my strengths.
I choose to contribute and share. I just grow that way.
And, I clearly define. And from within I gain the clarity. I am in a much better position to answer who am I or who I choose to be, what I am doing or what I choose to do, and of course, what are my values and important priorities that I want to focus on right now.
And I see my potential in a totally different, higher level and no longer perceive my reality based on limitations.
Obviously, I don’t see constraints as limitations rather as pointers to the actual path of growth that I can create or if already created to focus on.
I forgive and let go. I forgive others. And more importantly, I forgive myself. Yes, I forgive myself for not taking care of myself, for not setting up clear boundaries, for feeling helpless and powerless and accepting negativity as the reality rather than a perceived reality.
I end up focusing on creating value, which indefinitely ends up bringing in money as a by-product.
And often, I end up giving my dog a belly rub (like just now as I took a break from typing and gave him a real good belly rub and body massage for few minutes).
And it’s highly empowering. to run through these activities. I run through these activities because I feel empowered.
And of course, I work. I act. I move. And all these actions or things I end up doing are entirely at a new level. And most of the times, they are not focused on the reality created from my past, rather on the reality that I am creating in the present.
I am sure, you also be, do, feel, the same way as I have shared here from my experiences. Not that I have not felt helpless, or powerless, or subjugated myself through a lot of drama. Yes, I have. Especially when I refused to feel good just for the feeling purpose.
Yes, it’s nice to do something to feel good. However, if it ends up in the spectrum of unhealthy choices or someone’s actions are even more in-charge for you to feel good, then for sure, over a period of time, you are not going to end up feeling good, or even if you get it, it is not going to be fulfilling. Success without fulfillment is a failure. (Wait, is it a quote I heard from Jim Rohn or Tony Robbins?)
Choosing a new ending.
However, if you choose to feel good. For the only reason to feel good, which is your true nature, all your actions are going to be entirely different. You are going to have successes of your life or life lessons which will pave way for higher success. Failure and disappointment will cease to be an option (mostly). And it’s definitely going to be an empowering and enriching experience filled life moments coming from within you.
Rounding it up.
So again. As all these awareness was flowing in through me and to me, I asked God again? And he answered. (Even if it is just a fragment of my imagination).
“I created you when I felt really good. Not for feeling good. And look at you. You may have had failures, setbacks, and rejections. However, still every time, your true power woke up and your heart is still beating and your voice is still expressing, UNDEFEATED.”
And even I smiled.
Dr Maharaja SivaSubramanian N
PS: I could now see an entirely different angle of my core theme (or set of themes). “Every dream deserves a chance. Helping you make your dream your reality.”
Why is it your reality instead of a reality? Is it a typo? Will explain in some other post.
And yes, I did have a series of such great startling revelations in the past few days. You can check them from the links below.
What setbacks and resting has got to do with winning like a big player?
And yes, if you want my support or want to work with me, do contact me. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org and WhatsApp number is +91-9841118294.
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