Some background info.
Hi, I am Dr. Maharaja SivaSubramanian N. Blogger, Coach, Consultant, Speaker, Trainer. And also a human being who has had experiences and exposure of my own share of success by working various frameworks (both created by others and designed by me)
And yes, here’s a disclaimer too. This is part of my own experience, education and all the perspectives coming from there. And very much subjective to changes which otherwise I would label as evolution as I evolve. So, take it for that, another perspective and another way of looking at life. If you feel it can be empowering and you are ready to take responsibility for the consequences, then give it a try. And again, absolutely not a substitute for professional help.
Acceptance is the first step to step out of being a victim.
Yes, when challenges occur, and you are suffering, or even feeling like a victim, then the first step to do is to accept. Accept things as they are. And here, by accept, I am not referring to accepting it as the status quo and live with it. Rather, I am referring to it as, accepting it as the situation that is there. And next, looking at it objectively for what is, rather than what you interpret it as.
Accept there are different options.
Acceptance tells you, as to what it is. And then, you can easily look at what are the different options available. And take responsibility for coming up with the appropriate solution. When you take responsibility, then you can look at different options where you can have better control and influence too. Of coming up with different options for solution, and also to identify and work out the best option available that you can initiate, maintain, and grow with.
Accept it may take more effort than planned.
Accept that it may take more effort than you might have anticipated. Sometimes, you may reach a deadend, sometimes you may have to work out on more than one option to reach the solution, sometimes it may take more time, and you may have to be patient. It may take a lot of review work of what has worked for you, and what has not, and do necessary course corrections along the way.
Accept that others need not change.
Accept that others need not change just because you have changed. And, worse still, some of them may still be working on bringing you down, discouraging you from taking responsibility, and also sometimes unconsciously working on keeping you a victim. And, some may be surprised about you taking the responsibility.
And awareness of 3 different positions.
Of what is the before scenario, what are the different options, and, what is the after scenario?
What is the scenario outside before you begin working on making necessary changes? What are the different factors involved? How well are you looking at the details of both macro and micro?
What are the different options available? The good, the better, the best, and the better than the best. Any possible challenge always have more than 2 choices on how to proceed further. However, to become aware of the same, then it is going to take time and effort to think through and evaluate various options.
What can be the after scenario? So, you have accepted and become aware of what is, what are the different options, which one you are choosing, and acting upon, and how things are shaping up?
And also accept there are going to be trade-offs, challenges, failures, along the way.
Accept that there are going to be some bumps as you travel. There may some failures too in your effort to win, and you may lose out on some opportunities. And there are going to be trade-offs. You are going to win some, you are going to lose some. And that is how it is going to work. Be aware of them, and prepare to minimize them as much as possible.
The drama may show up from time to time.
There are going to be instances where out of habit, you may end up seeing yourself in scenarios where you are being victim. As much as possible, bounce back with consciousness.
And be responsible for the necessary motivation, commitment, and course-corrections.
You are responsible to stay motivated. Most of the people are living an unconscious life as victims and are wondering how to make things happen. And sometimes, hoping things will happen automatically. The key is to have the motivation and commitment to complete the goal. And at the same time, there will be times and opportunities where course-corrections need to happen. And some times you may have to change your goals too.
And in all these manner, acceptance is the first step, or should I even say, a repetitive first step to get out of being a victim. There are going to be ups and downs. And every time you fall down, bounce back stronger. Accept there are going to be some falls, and from there, keep on moving forward.
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Dr. Maharaja SivaSubramanian N
Helping you make your dreams your reality.
Blogger, Coach, Consultant, Speaker, Trainer.
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