I think you will spend 203 seconds reading this post
The tale of two heartaches.
(Some wild reflections as I finished my midnight dinner).
Lost in the wilderness of consciousness, wavers the soul.
And lost in the wilderness of society, wavers our mind.
Yes, it’s a lot more painful when you lose someone. Much more so, when they are the position of your love. And they are your source of joy. Much terrible if they are your first love. For the heartache is so much that it may never be the same innocent love again.
The moment one moves out so much to identify with someone, the self alone is not so much lost with the other one, the soul sometimes too. Sometimes, it’s your heart which loves the other, and many a times, the heart that beats is that of your soul.
And as life moves on, and for grief unwarranted, if and when your heart breaks, a lot just seems lost.
Your soul wavers in the wilderness seeking the same innocence. Alas, it may never be. Or as it is convinced by the mind. For, for the mind, it has never experienced anything like that, and that heartache says what is going to be? The mind may find it so unbearable of losing the first love that it may never be able to allow love to flow through again. And that is a heartache.
And nope, the mind does not likes aches, that it may virtually just shut down itself a lot. For some they may call it depressing, and some more, it may be an outright slip into depression.
And the soul drops a tear in its own right. Not for the love that was lost outside, rather the love that was lost within. And that is the second heartache. Not because of losing something, rather than losing somewhere oneself, losing the love within oneself for self.
This is what complicates for the two heartaches is not clear which one is worse. And not sure which one to heal first. And that’s somewhere at times you hear a cry in your heart. And this cry is not a cry for help, rather if you listen well a cry of something waiting to be born.
From the debris of the two heartaches, is waiting a new you to be reborn, someone who is today or as time passes by, will become ready to heed to the call, and find the truth, that the love within was always there and will heal it all.
Yes, it will take time, and maybe a lot more effort too. It may not be easy, but not impossible to claim yourself. And with each and every step, listen to the cry, and listen to the call. Do not mistake it for helplessness, for small babies do show so. However, know for sure that sooner or later, you are going to be reborn.
Till then and until then, with as much as humanely can, just TAKE CARE.
~ Dr Maharaja SivaSubramanian N
(Note to self)