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Feeling low, negative, unhappy and what you can do about it. Waking up from sleep feeling low? An encounter with handling the blues. So, as the title suggests, here are some challenges associated with feeling low and also about how do you handle it? Few helpful pointers (for education and information purpose only).
Some background info.
Hi, I am Dr. Maharaja SivaSubramanian N. Blogger, Coach, Consultant, Speaker, Trainer. And also a human being who has had experiences and exposure of my own share of blues, and suffering, and feelings of low moments. I have experienced it both personally and professionally.
I have experienced it both personally as in my own life, (my dramas and sufferings, days filled with unhappiness and feeling low. And of those with whom I have had personal, professional, social relationship with, and also felt disconnected both from my own true self and also with others).
And also, I have experienced it professionally as in others life where I had both the responsibility and privilege to help them as their coach or consultant and help them navigate through their own low feelings, feelings of unhappiness, discontentment, unfulfillment, disconnectedness, dramas, and sufferings.
And some important info.
And yes, here’s a disclaimer too. This is my moment of epiphany, my moment of understanding and realizing the depth in something at a bigger level. A part of my own experience, education and all the perspectives coming from there. And very much subjective to changes which otherwise I would label as evolution as I evolve. So, take it for that, another perspective and another way of looking at life. If you feel it can be empowering and you are ready to take responsibility for the consequences, then give it a try. And again, absolutely not a substitute for professional help.
Let’s now dive deep into the topic.
Which blues are we talking about?
Yes, there are lots of blues we are discussing. For the uninitiated, blues (also) refer to (and especially in the context of this post) to disempowering low feelings which are (and not restricted to), feeling low, feeling depressed, unease, frustration, discontentment, unhappiness, etc.
And yes, there are lots of blues. January blues. February blues. March blues. April blues. May blues, June blues, July blues, August blues, September blues, October blues, November blues, December blues. Yes, that list it right. Feeling low in January, then it’s January blues. And so on, for other months.
Then, there are the blues associated with festivities. New year blues, Christmas blues. etc.
Then, with the seasons. Summer blues, Spring blues, Winter blues, Autumn blues, Monsoon blues.
And then, with the moon. New moon blues, full moon blues. etc.
And then, there are for the days of the week. Sunday blues, Monday blues, Tuesday blues, Wednesday blues, Thursday blues, Friday blues, Saturday blues, Mid-day blues, Weekday blues, Weekend blues, Middle of the week blues, Friday night blues, Monday morning blues, etc.
Something to do with eclipses, birthday, marriage (wedding day blues), engagement blues, new job blues, retirement blues, graduation blues…. and on, and on, and on.
Like this, it can be just an exhaustive list. Yes, a list just going through which can be exhaustive too.
Some are genuine problems.
Yes, some of these are genuine problems and do require some sort of professional help. So, get that help. And a lot of them requires something else. What are those scenarios which require something else? And what may be the reasons? And probable methods for help? That’s what I will be discussing in this post.
Yes, sometimes it’s about the anger. And, how you manage it.
So, diving deep into one of the major causes of feeling low. And a lot of anger symptoms is passive anger. As in, the anger is about something, some action that you can’t or couldn’t do anything about. And, you just end up storing up all those anger. And that explodes in a format where you end up feeling the blues.
Path of least resistance.
And let’s look at the energy of emotions. It’s easier to feel low than to feel anger. And yes, it’s easy to be left confusing and fuming rather than pointing fingers at someone which would eventually lead to self-awareness, owning up the responsibility and forgiveness. That’s how our emotions flow through the path of least resistance (or at least I have felt a lot many more times).
And at times, it can be the 99 non-essential problems.
Yes, to focus our attention and concentration is a skill (or ability or habit) that is not a natural process for a lot of people. And what do we do in such a scenario? We focus on anything and everything, usually the less important, non-essential stuff. And eventually, it leads to a situation or feeling.
Overwhelm is a reality.
Yes, the feeling is of overwhelm. Where there are too many things fighting for our attention. And, that’s scary for we are struck. The major symptom of feeling overwhelmed is about not knowing the most important thing that needs to be done next. And that does kill our productivity. Making us end up with busyness. Busyness is a good breeding ground for losing on self-care and bringing up a lot of burnout and feeling low (from burnout).
Let’s get on with some better choices.
Life by design is much better (mostly) than life by default.
When a person just lives through life, they are very well living it by default (for them) and design (from others). There’s a lot of unconscious decisions made which may many times not be of the best interest of the individual. In this scenario, a lot of unconscious living creeps in. Where unconsciousness creeps in, there is a high tendency of distraction and confusion. And that’s how people end up feeling low.
Rather, how about taking some time to design your life? Some people do it every day. Some do it once a week. And a few once a month or 3 months or half-yearly or annually. Whichever be the way, get some conscious decision-making in terms of how you get to live your life.
In fact, here are few frameworks for you to do the same. (You can find them at the end of the article).
Living a life and living a good life are entirely two different things.
Both are two different types of living. A lot of people live life, grow old and eventually die. While some, aspire for a good life, extremely seek it externally, give up, grow old and die. Yes, external seeking of a good life many times can lead to disappointment. Rather, begin with the better place, to begin with. And that’s within. Desire a good life, decide you are going to live one, design a good life and put in the work to live one. and thus grow up with a good life before you die.
Self-love and self-care are serious solution methods.
Yes, they are. Spend (better word will be to invest) a minimum of 10% of your time, energy, resources to take care of yourself. That way, you are in a much better position to be able to serve (and help, and share with) others.
Write yourself a love letter. Everyday. Yes, every day take some time to write to yourself about all the things you love about yourself. Some of those lovely things can be your past accomplishments, or what you could do today or about your future ambitions, goals. Does it have to be about achievements? Not necessarily. It can be as simple as the fact that you are ready to express self-love alone which can be appreciated. So, just write to yourself about that courage and commitment.
Sometimes, it’s about just feeling good.
(You can find them at the end of the article).
Your life is created in the now.
Yes. It’s all in the now. The only true moment is in the now. And depends upon how you story-tell about your past, perceive (and project) in the present and think and act about your future. So, better do it with lots of self-care, self-awareness, and self-love.
It’s not about the challenges.
Feeling low can be challenging at times. And also, for some of you, life may be filled with extreme challenges. How do you grow up then? Check this post in detail here.
And much more than the uncomfortable feeling.
Feeling low? Not really. That’s not the problem. Just a mere symptom. Let me explain. When you have wrong stuff in your stomach, (or digestive system), you are going to end with vomiting and diarrhea. So, vomiting and diarrhea, in this case, are symptoms and not the real problem (or cause of the problem).
Likewise, feeling low is something that is more of a symptom. Any traumatic experience that is ready to be healed? And disempowering belief/memory that is needed to be let go and substituted with an empowering one?
Note: Substitute removing disempowering memory with an empowering one so that you don’t have a void formed.
You’re either recharging or discharging.
I paraphrase a couple of quotes I have heard a lot.
Number one. Energy is everything, everything is energy. So, are you recharging your energy (and also generating as much as possible with healthy choices) or rather discharging?
Number two. You’re either growing or you are dying. Let me modify and say it this way. You’re either growing up or growing old. So, grow up feeling good.
And let me share my perspective from a very important concept from physics. Energy is neither created nor destroyed. Rather transformed. So, with the same concept, feel your low feeling, connect with the energy in it, and transform it into a massive constructive force.
Some more quick bites.
Get some energy. Go for a walk, check on with the spa, get some massage, workout (yes, sweat it out).
Drink water. Lots of it. (I prefer warm water).
Meditate. Some deep breathing, mantra chanting, watching your breath. Yoga nidra.
(Seriously you can find a lot of info about all of these from Youtube and Google Search).
Practice journaling. Vision journalling, progress tracker, mental bank ledger, accomplishments journal, miracles journal, gratitude journal, self-love messages, thank you notes.
Take a break. (And I am referring to complete break.) Unplug. Close all social media, sleep a lot and then sleep even more.
Get on and work with a professional. This is a very important one and really a big important one.
Go through this post again. Check the various links shared above and also below. And yes, I will be updating this post a lot more based on where people ask me for more clarity. (So, you too, can send me an email (with referring to this post – so include the URL) to firstname.lastname@example.org )
One thing is for sure. And that is, feeling low maybe inevitable. However, continuing to feel low is optional. You always have the choice to work through the low feeling. (So, stop using the label of the actual blue as your problem excuse, rather breakthrough the whole stuff). And grow with grace and abundance.
Dr. Maharaja SivaSubramanian N.
And yes, if you want my support or want to work with me, do contact me. My email address is email@example.com and WhatsApp number is +91-9841118294.
PS: Here are some more articles and frameworks which can help you in your journey. (Additional reading)
Kindly do share your care.
If you feel any of your friends, family or contacts need to see this article, do share it with them. And a request for an act of random kindness. Do share this article in possible social media so that it benefits another person.
“When it comes to being productive, what’s your #1 single biggest challenge?”
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