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It happens. Yes, sometimes, it happens a lot. That you end up feeling low, and sometimes very low that it feels as if you have got lots of heaviness and wrong emotions and feelings, (reminding you of some old negative experiences) and all that you just want to vomit it out. What do you do then? How do you go about it?
Some background info.
Hi, I am Dr. Maharaja SivaSubramanian N. Blogger, Coach, Consultant, Speaker, Trainer. And also a human being who has had experiences and exposure of my own share of the feelings of feeling low, anxious, lonely, afraid, sad, guilt and all. I have experienced it both personally and professionally.
I have experienced it both personally as in my own life, (my own feelings, my own days and phases when I felt lost, had some failures, a lot of fights with people who mattered, not being able to to do what I wanted to do, and also, yes, from losing people in my life to death or miscommunication). (That and of those with whom I have had personal, professional, social relationship with)
And also, I have experienced it professionally as in others life where I had both the responsibility and privilege to help them as their coach or consultant and help them navigate through their own fears, anxieties, feeling low, and other sufferings.
And yes, here’s a disclaimer too. This is part of my own experience, education and all the perspectives coming from there. And very much subjective to changes which otherwise I would label as evolution as I evolve. So, take it for that, another perspective and another way of looking at life. If you feel it can be empowering and you are ready to take responsibility for the consequences, then give it a try. And again, absolutely not a substitute for professional help.
A question often asked. You are a coach and a doctor yourself. Why do you feel low?
This has been a rapid question that I have been asked. As to why I myself feel low at times. And the answer is, because I am also a human. And as a human, I am susceptible to all spectrum of emotions. However, it’s a totally different thing in terms of do I choose to continue to feel the same for too long?
I did. I did feel it for too long at one point of time, especially when I lost a lot of important people in my life. I slipped into what I can call as an intense phase of loneliness. The first thing I did, I took a professional break. I took it as a clear break for I did not want my feelings and energy to disturb others. And I sought as much professional help as I could.
Now, let’s get on with the topic and what it may mean to you too.
What do these feelings actually mean?
Do they mean you are bad? Do they mean you are having a problem? Maybe. The thing is, they are just feelings which are disempowering you. Or if I have to give a comparison, then we can call it as spoilt food which has entered into your system. And that is what ends up making you feel nauseating, stuffy, and all. So, what do you do then? Get it out of your system. That’s what you do, to begin with. Take the necessary treatment and do the necessary changes.
Do the same thing you will do when you have had spoilt food and feel stuffed and nauseating. What do you do then? Vomit it right? You don’t hold on to the vomit for long. And also don’t complain about it for long.
So, what do you do with the feelings?
Throw them out. First take a sheet or few sheets of paper and just write them all and destroy that paper. Exactly like going to the sink, vomiting it and washing away the vomit. Yes, that’s the first step.
Next, work with a professional.
I highly recommend it. There are a lot of professionals whom you can work with. Doctors, psychologists, psychotherapists, hypnotists, hypnotherapists, healers, coaches, counselors, rehabilitation workers, therapists, etc. Find the right professional and work with them.
Where and why it maybe?
Why do I have this negative feeling? That’s definitely a question that people tend to ask. The answers for the source are plenty. It maybe from others, (as in their perspectives, opinions, education, expertise, etc) and sometimes it’s about the environment, culture, social practices, level of socio-economic development, and yes, sometimes from genes too.
And one big thing. And that is exposure and repetition. If you are constantly getting exposed to negativity, and allow yourself to experience it again and again plus also repeating it again and again inside your head and heart, that is what you are going to end up feeling too. Give it a break somewhere, find the weakest link of this chain of negativity and break it there. And be sure to get all the help needed for the same.
One thing that sure needs to be done.
Purge it out. Throw it out. Get rid of it from your system. Yes, “I know it”, if that’s what you say, then here is the missing piece on doing it. Do it with lots of love and acceptance.
Yes, a lot of love and acceptance. As in, those feelings are not you, so don’t end up bashing yourself for the same. And the same, other people also need not be just the feeling triggers too. So, forgive yourself and forgive others. Let it go. Move on. And do it with lots of self-love and self-acceptance.
And the same way, send in loads of love and acceptance to others too. Put yourself in empowering environment, around empowering people, thinking empowering thoughts. And keep on doing it again and again.
Some more exercises that can help big time.
Practice journalling. Do a journal for gratitude, for your wins, for happiness, for miracles, for achievements, for planning, etc. Yes, one each for them. You can Google and find info about each of those journal types and methods. You can do it with simple pen and paper or maybe get a fancy journal.
Practice self-care. Take care of yourself in as many ways as possible. Look for both quality and quantity. I will maybe do a future post on various ways you can practice self-care.
Unplug. Yes. Spending time with yourself, with reflection and silence, gives you a huge scope and chance to know more about yourself. You can end up becoming an observer of your own life where you are able to identify the various attachments and entanglements and let them all go, one at a time. They are not you. Your thoughts are not yours. They are from your culture, social factors, education, experience, exposure. The same with your feelings, your visions, your goals, your ambitions, your relationships. Find all those which are empowering you and others for the highest good in a healthy manner and empower them.
Feeling low is not a major problem. And it definitely is not a crime. It’s just wrong stuff has went in. Acknowledge it, and get it out. With loads of love and care.
Dr. Maharaja SivaSubramanian N.
And yes, if you want my support or want to work with me, do contact me. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org and WhatsApp number is +91-9841118294.
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